Learn the difference between ‘Themself’ and ‘Themselves’ and when to use each in gender-neutral contexts. This guide explains the usage, rules, and key distinctions between these pronouns for effective communication.
The English language is always evolving, shaped by cultural and social changes that influence how we express identity, inclusivity, and personal experiences. A key part of this evolution involves the use of gender-neutral pronouns. Among the most talked-about pronouns are “themself” and “themselves.” Both of these are reflexive pronouns, but they are used differently depending on context, number, and gender identity. The distinction between “themself” and “themselves” can be confusing even for native speakers. Therefore, it’s important to understand how to use them properly, especially in professional, academic, and personal settings.
This guide will explain the difference between “themself” and “themselves,” offering insights into when each one is appropriate, the rules for their usage, examples, and how these pronouns fit into the broader conversation about gender-neutral language.
What Do “Themself” and “Themselves” Mean?
Before diving into the specifics of “themself” vs. “themselves,” it’s important to understand what a reflexive pronoun is. A reflexive pronoun is used when the subject and object of a sentence refer to the same entity. In simpler terms, it means that the subject is performing an action on itself.
Here are some common reflexive pronouns:
- I → myself
- You → yourself (singular), yourselves (plural)
- He/She/It → himself/herself/itself
- They → themselves (plural), themself (singular, gender-neutral)
The confusion often arises when dealing with the singular “they,” which is increasingly used as a gender-neutral pronoun.
The Evolution of “Themself”
While “themself” has been used informally for centuries, it has gained more widespread acceptance as language evolves toward inclusivity. It is now recognized as a reflexive pronoun for singular, gender-neutral subjects—those who don’t identify as strictly male or female.
When to Use “Themself” or “Themselves”
The choice between “themself” and “themselves” primarily depends on whether you’re referring to a singular or plural subject. But it also relates to when gender-neutral language applies, especially in the context of non-binary or genderqueer identities.
Singular Usage: “Themself”
“Themself” is used when referring to a singular subject who prefers gender-neutral language. While its use in formal writing may still be debated, it is becoming more accepted as an alternative to binary pronouns like “himself” or “herself.”
Example Sentences Using “Themself”:
- “Jordan has always been independent and prefers to do things themself.”
- “Sam was so focused on their project, they lost themself in the work.”
- “Bailey believes that they are capable of handling the situation themself.”
In these examples, “themself” refers to singular individuals who do not identify strictly with traditional gender labels.
Plural Usage: “Themselves”
“Themselves” is the correct reflexive pronoun for plural subjects or when the subject is understood to be plural.
Example Sentences Using “Themselves”:
- “The team members congratulated themselves after winning the championship.”
- “The volunteers took care of the event themselves without any outside help.”
- “The students studied hard and prepared themselves for the exam.”
In these examples, “themselves” refers to multiple people—team members, volunteers, and students.
The Importance of Inclusivity in Language
As conversations about gender identity grow more inclusive, the use of gender-neutral pronouns like “they/them” (for both singular and plural usage) and “themself” is becoming more common. Non-binary individuals, who do not identify as male or female, often use “themself” instead of “himself” or “herself.”
Usage in Contemporary English
Although “themself” may still seem unconventional in formal contexts, it’s gaining acceptance in more inclusive and informal writing as the proper reflexive form for the singular “they.”
Example of Non-Binary Usage:
- “Alex decided to take care of the presentation themself, as they were confident in their abilities.”
- “Morgan told me that they are organizing the event themself, without any assistance.”
Inclusivity and the Future of “Themself”
Using “themself” correctly is an important step toward acknowledging and validating non-binary identities. As more people embrace gender-neutral language, “themself” will likely continue to gain acceptance, even in formal contexts.
Is It Correct to Use “Themselves” in Singular Contexts?
While “themselves” is traditionally used for plural subjects, it is sometimes used in singular contexts, especially when discussing general actions or responsibilities in a non-gender-specific way.
Example of Singular “Themselves”:
- “If someone wants to succeed in life, they need to believe in themselves.”
- “Each student must complete the assignment by themselves.”
This usage is grammatically acceptable in informal English, although “themself” might be preferred when referring to one specific individual.
Common Mistakes: “Theirselves” vs. “Themselves”
A common mistake is confusing “theirselves” with “themselves.” While “theirselves” may appear in some dialects or non-standard forms of English, it is incorrect in formal English.
By understanding the differences between “themself” and “themselves,” you can ensure your language remains inclusive, accurate, and respectful of individuals’ gender identities. Whether you’re writing informally or formally, embracing these gender-neutral pronouns reflects a broader commitment to inclusivity.
The Correct Form: “Themselves”
In standard English, “themselves” is always the correct choice, whether referring to one person (in a gender-neutral way) or multiple people.
Example of Incorrect Usage:
- Incorrect: “Each one of them should take care of theirselves.”
- Correct: “Each one of them should take care of themselves.”
Formal vs. Informal Usage of “Themself” and “Themselves”
The choice between “themself” and “themselves” can also depend on the level of formality. In formal writing, especially in academic or professional settings, “themself” may still face resistance. You might be expected to use “themselves,” even when referring to a singular, gender-neutral subject.
In informal writing, however, “themself” is more likely to be accepted without issue.
Examples of “Themself” vs. “Themselves” in Different Contexts
- Gender-Neutral Context
In gender-neutral contexts, “themself” is used when referring to an individual who does not identify as male or female.
- “Jordan took time off to focus on themself.”
- “Alex made sure to finish the project themself, without relying on others.”
- Plural Context
“Themselves” is used for plural subjects, even in gender-neutral situations.
- “The team worked together and helped themselves to the snacks.”
- “They traveled to the destination themselves, without any assistance.”
- Reflexive vs. Emphatic Usage
It’s important to distinguish between reflexive and emphatic pronouns. Reflexive pronouns show that the subject is performing the action on itself. Emphatic pronouns emphasize that the subject is doing the action.
- Reflexive: “They bought a gift for themselves.”
- Emphatic: “They themselves made the decision.”
Key Takeaways:
- “Themself” is used for singular, gender-neutral subjects.
- “Themselves” is used for plural subjects or as the reflexive pronoun for singular, gender-neutral “they.”
- “Theirselves” is considered incorrect in standard English.
- Gender-neutral language promotes inclusivity and respect for diverse identities.
- The formal use of “themself” is evolving, but it’s increasingly accepted in both casual and academic contexts.
As we continue navigating the changing landscape of language, the goal should always be to use language that is both grammatically correct and socially responsible. The growing recognition of non-binary identities and the adoption of gender-neutral language like “themself” is one step toward making communication more inclusive and respectful of all people, regardless of gender identity.
Understanding and using these pronouns properly not only improves our grammar but also strengthens our commitment to a more inclusive society where everyone’s identity is acknowledged and respected. Whether you are writing a professional email, having a casual conversation, or refining your grammar skills, it’s important to keep these distinctions in mind to communicate thoughtfully and effectively.
Summary Table of Key Points
| Concept | Themself | Themselves |
|---|---|---|
| Use Case | Singular, gender-neutral subject | Plural subject or singular gender-neutral reflexive |
| Reflexive | Used when subject and object are the same | Same usage, but for plural or generic subject |
| Standard Usage | Acceptable in gender-neutral contexts | Traditionally used for plural, universally accepted |
| Formal/Informal | More common in informal writing | Widely accepted in both formal and informal contexts |
| Correctness | Correct for non-binary individuals | Correct for plural subjects or general gender-neutral usage |
Conclusion
The distinction between “themself” and “themselves” is a crucial aspect of modern English grammar, particularly in the context of gender-neutral language. As society embraces a more inclusive understanding of gender, language adapts to reflect this shift and acknowledges diverse identities. While the formal use of “themself” is still relatively new, its adoption is growing as more people recognize the need for language that respects non-binary and genderqueer individuals.
Understanding how to use “themself” and “themselves” correctly helps ensure clearer communication while respecting both grammatical rules and individual identities. As language continues to evolve, it’s essential to stay informed and adapt to these new norms, especially when it comes to inclusivity.
