70+ Funny Things to Say to Daughters Boyfriend

Meeting your daughter’s boyfriend for the first time can bring up all kinds of emotions.

You want to make a good impression, keep things casual, and maybe throw in a joke to lighten the mood.

A bit of humor can help break the ice and show that you’re approachable.

Here are some funny things you can say to your daughter’s boyfriend to help everyone feel more at ease.

ALSO READ> Funny Things to Say When You Win a Game

Funny Things to Say to Daughters Boyfriend

• “Nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you… mostly from the NSA.”
• “Just remember, I know how to hide a body. Kidding! Or am I?”
• “We’re not saying we’re suspicious, but we’ve already named a star after you—it’s called ‘Under Surveillance.’”
• “You hurt her, I hurt you. But first, I’ll make you eat my cooking. Trust me, that’s scarier.”
• “If you make her cry, I make you cry. Fair warning: I’m an onion ninja.”
• “Welcome! Think of me as your future… maybe, possibly, depending on how this goes, mother-in-law.”
• “I have a particular set of skills. One of them is embarrassing my daughter. You’ve been warned.”
• “See that guy over there? That’s her brother. He’s not afraid to return her in less-than-perfect condition.”
• “We like you, but just remember—we watch a lot of detective shows.”
• “If you’re thinking about breaking her heart, remember, I can make your internet history public.”
• “Ah, young love. Just keep in mind, her first love was her teddy bear.”
• “I’ve known her since her cringe Facebook days. Trust me, I have receipts.”
• “Feel free to call me ‘Sir,’ ‘Your Majesty,’ or ‘The Overprotective Father.’”
• “I’m not saying I don’t trust you, but I’ve already installed a GPS tracker. In your soul.”
• “Just remember, I can make you go viral. And not in a good way.”
• “Here’s some free advice: Don’t. Break. Her. Heart. Or you’ll lose your WiFi privileges.”
• “I’m great at puzzles—especially putting together the pieces of your social media history.”
• “I’ve got a shovel and a backyard. Make of that what you will.”
• “You bring her home late, I’ll bring out my old prom photos. It’s very effective.”
• “You need to pass the ‘Door Test.’ If my dog likes you, you’re in. If not… well, nice knowing you.”
• “Just so you know, I can delete you from her phone faster than you can say, ‘Sorry, sir.’”
• “Ah, young love. Just remember—I’m always watching. Always.”
• “I once thought about being a comedian, but making boyfriends squirm is much more fun.”
• “Our family motto? ‘We don’t scare easily. But we do scare others easily.’”
• “Think of me as your biggest fan… and potentially your worst nightmare.”
• “Not to intimidate you, but I’ve acquired a very particular set of skills over my long dad career.”
• “Did I mention I’m a magician? Watch me make your phone disappear if you don’t treat her right.”
• “Treat her like a queen, or you’ll be dealing with the court jester—me.”
• “Just so you know, I’m really good at pretending to like people. Don’t make me use that skill.”
• “We’re pretty easygoing. Just ask the last boyfriend… Oh wait, you can’t.”
• “Don’t worry, I won’t send you a friend request on Facebook. But hurt my daughter, and consider yourself blocked for life.”

ALSO READ> Funny Things to Say After “Guess What”

• “You know what they say, ‘Happy daughter, happy life.’”
• “I might not always be around, but my security cameras are. Kidding… maybe.”
• “As her dad, I have high expectations for boyfriends. And trust me, I’m a tough critic.”
• “Don’t mind the dog barking—she’s just really good at sniffing out bad guys.”
• “Hope you’re ready for a lifetime of dad jokes and puns. It’s part of the package.”
• “I have a black belt in dad reflexes, so don’t try anything funny with my daughter.”
• “You’re not just dating my daughter—you’re entering a relationship with our entire family. Be ready.”
• “I may not be perfect, but I’ll always protect and support my daughter. That’s just what dads do.”
• “I was once in your shoes—dating someone’s daughter. Trust me, I know how to spot a good guy.”
• “I might seem intimidating, but deep down, I’m just a dad who loves his daughter and wants the best for her.”
• “If you ever need advice, feel free to reach out. I’m here.”

ALSO READ> Funny Things to Write on Shirt Signing Day

Funny Things to Say to Daughter’s Boyfriend After a Fight

• “I hope you two patch things up soon; I’m not ready to audition for a new partner-in-crime.”
• “Remember, if she’s mad, ice cream works faster than flowers. Just saying.”
• “On the bright side, at least you’re not arguing over the TV remote yet.”
• “Next time, just agree she’s right. Trust me, it’s easier.”
• “You survived! How about we celebrate with a ‘Sorry for the fight’ pizza?”
• “Consider this a warm-up for when you need to agree on what color to paint the kitchen.”
• “Now you get why we sometimes call her ‘the storm,’ right?”
• “Need help negotiating peace? I accept cake as payment.”
• “No one really wins an argument unless she tells you that you did.”
• “Are we done recreating a drama series yet? Can we get back to normal now?”
• “It’s not a real fight until the neighbors come over to make sure everything’s okay.”
• “She got her stubbornness from her other parent. I’m the easygoing one.”
• “Thought video games were tough? Welcome to relationship expert level.”
• “If she’s mad, just toss some chocolate her way and run.”
• “Next time you argue, could you pause for a popcorn break? I want to watch.”
• “Apologizing is like rebooting a computer—sometimes that’s all it takes.”
• “They say love is a battlefield. Congrats on earning your first medal!”
• “Keep this up, and you’ll be a professional ‘sorry’ whisperer.”
• “Just remember, ‘Yes, dear’ is usually more effective than any counter-argument.”
• “Fights are like software updates—annoying, but they lead to improvements.”
• “Did you try turning the argument off and back on again?”
• “You’re officially in the relationship now—you’ve seen the stormy weather.”
• “If all else fails, blame the lack of coffee for the misunderstanding.”
• “Think of every argument as her way of loving you loudly.”
• “Loving her is like holding a rose—beautiful, but be mindful of the thorns.”
• “Still here? You’ve earned points for bravery.”
• “Now that you’ve survived this, you’re basically family. We all survive her together.”
• “Think this is bad? Wait until she can’t decide where to eat.”
• “You guys made up yet? I already told the dog you’re staying.”
• “Don’t worry, every fight is just another story for the wedding day.”