Whether you’re at a family gathering, sending a quick text, or just spending time together, sharing a joke with your cousin can always liven up the moment.
Cousins are often our first friends, and the special bond you share creates endless opportunities for laughter and fun.
In this article, we’ll explore 100+ hilarious things to say to your cousin, funny text messages, and playful pranks.
Let’s dive in!
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Funny Things to Say to Your Cousin
“If we got a dollar every time our moms compared us, we’d be rolling in cash.” “Remember when we thought we were ninjas? Yeah, turns out we weren’t.” “I know we’re family, but seriously, stop copying my coolness.” “Our family tree must be a cactus—everyone’s a little spiky.”
“You’re the cheese to my macaroni, but sometimes, you’re just the plain noodle.” “Grandma told us we could be anything, and you’ve really taken that to heart!” “I’d challenge you to a battle of wits, but clearly, you left your weapon at home.” “You’re not just my cousin—you’re my personal science experiment.” “Our shared DNA is definitely the lazy kind—sleeping in is a family tradition.”
“We’re why our family has a ‘no weird stories at the table’ rule.” “If our family was a zoo, you’d be the star attraction.” “Sometimes I question if we’re related or just two quirky people who share the same last name.” “You’re the only one I can send memes to without any context.” “Our family gatherings are more intense than the Olympics—and we’re the reigning gold medalists.”
“Are we cousins or telepathic twins? I can read your mind, and it’s weird.” “Remember when we got in trouble and blamed the dog? That was genius.” “You’re the person I trust when I say, ‘I’ve got a secret, but you can’t tell anyone.’” “We’ve got the eye roll down to an art form.” “You’re the Robin to my Batman, though sometimes you play the Joker.”
“I’m pretty sure we were supposed to be twins, but the universe wasn’t ready for that level of awesome.” “You add the perfect amount of chaos to my life.” “Our childhood was one big ‘What were we thinking?’ montage.” “If being awesome were illegal, we’d be serving life sentences together.” “We’re not saying we’re Batman and Robin, but you’ve never seen us in the same room as them, right?” “Remember when we thought being adults would be fun? Joke’s on us.” “Our secret handshake could rival anything the FBI has.”
“We’re family chaos that no one can explain, but everyone wants.” “If our lives were a sitcom, we’d be the comic relief.” “Our family isn’t normal; we’ve set new standards for weird.” “You’re the yin to my yang—sometimes more like the ping to my pong.” “We’ve been through everything… except jail, but hey, there’s still time.” “Our parents must wonder where they went wrong with us, and we love it.”
“We’re not just cousins—we’re a natural disaster waiting to happen.” “You’re the reason family reunions are tolerable, and oddly entertaining.” “We share genes, but clearly, I got the better fashion sense.” “Together, we could conquer the world… but we’re too lazy.” “Our memories could fill a book—a hilarious one.” “You make the plans, and I point out how they’ll fail—teamwork.” “Our adventures should come with a disclaimer.” “When we’re together, it’s not mischief—it’s a full-on adventure.”
“We’re like a mini gang, but we only deal in snacks and naps.” “I love how we can have entire conversations with just our facial expressions.” “We’re not weird—we’re limited edition.” “You’re my partner in crime, but seriously, don’t pull any stunts without me.” “We’ve both earned the ‘best cousin ever’ title—it’s a tie.” “Who needs superheroes when I’ve got you as my cousin?”
“Our dance moves at weddings? Legendary.” “We’re exactly who our parents warned us about.” “Together, we’re unstoppable. Apart, we’re still pretty awesome.” “Our family reunions? Circus-level chaos, and we’re the headliners.”
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Funny Cousin One-Liner
“Cousins are the childhood playmates who grow into lifelong friends.” “Family gatherings are way more fun when your cousins feel like siblings.” “Having a cousin is like having a best friend built into your life.” “Cousins by blood, partners in crime by choice.” “Who needs superheroes when you’ve got a cousin by your side?” “Cousins: the first friends you make and the last ones you fight over dessert with.”
“Cousins are like fudge — sweet, with just a touch of nuttiness!” “Our parents made us cousins, but our craziness made us best friends.” “Cousins: because our parents knew we’d be too much as siblings.” “Cousins by chance, friends by choice, and troublemakers by nature.”
“With cousins, every day feels like a mini family reunion.” “It’s not what we have but who we have, and I’m lucky to have the best cousin.” “Reunion prep: counting cousins instead of counting sheep.” “Cousins are the ones who ask how you’re doing and actually wait for the answer.” “I smile because you’re my cousin; I laugh because you can’t do anything about it!” “Cousins are like stars: you don’t always see them, but they’re always there.”
“In my cousin, I find another version of myself.” “Forget Batman and Robin; my cousin and I are the ultimate dynamic duo.” “Cousins are cool to hang out with, impossible to forget, and forever close to your heart.” “Life’s always better when cousins are around.” “Cousins are the ultimate gauge of how fun a family event will be.” “Cousins? More like partners-in-crime!”
“When I’m with my cousin, nothing can stop us.” “Cousins are the reason family gatherings are not just bearable, but fun.” “Cousins are the first friends we make and the best teammates we’ll ever have.” “A cousin is a ready-made friend you get for life.” “When your cousin is your best friend, you’ve truly hit the jackpot.” “Why keep a diary when you have a cousin to share all your secrets with?”
“Cousins are like bonus siblings life generously gives us.” “First we were cousins, now we’re the cause of all the trouble.” “Cousins by blood, friends by heart, co-conspirators for life.” “Cousins are connected heart to heart—no distance or time can break that bond.” “If you think I’m wild, wait until you meet my cousin!” “Having a cool cousin is like owning a cheat code to life.”
“Cousins: genetically designed to be your perfect accomplice.” “Cousins are the best partners you’re born with.” “Cousins are the pinky promises of an unforgettable childhood.” “With a cousin, even the craziest ideas seem worth trying.” “Cousins are the rare gems.
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Funny Cousin Text Messages
“Did we just become best friends? Absolutely!” “Family gatherings: 5% catching up, 95% swapping memes.” “Remember when we thought adults had everything figured out? Turns out, that was the real joke.” “Is it just me, or does Grandma have a sixth sense for our mischief?”
“Our DNA is infused with just the right amount of craziness—and I wouldn’t change a thing.” “I’d take a bullet for you! Not in the head, obviously… maybe the leg.” “Who needs superheroes when I’ve got a cousin like you?” “Cousin therapy sessions way cheaper than a shrink and twice as effective.”
“We’re the reason our family has a ‘no-go topics’ list at dinner.” “Our family tree is more like a cactus—full of pricks, but we’re the beautiful blooms.” “If our parents knew even half of our childhood schemes, we’d still be grounded.” “You’re my built-in bestie for life—no exchanges, no refunds.” “We might not have it all together, but together we’ve got everything… plus a dash of crazy.”
“Cousins by blood, partners in crime by choice.” “We’re like a tiny gang—clumsy, dysfunctional, but still a gang.” “Should we let everyone know how awesome we turned out, or keep it our little secret?” “Our family motto: We put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.”
“You’re the ‘text at 3 a.m. for no reason’ kind of cousin, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” “Who needs a diary when I’ve got you to share all my secrets with?” “Quick, hide the evidence—Grandma’s coming! And yes, this text counts as evidence.”
Funny Cousin Pranks
Switcheroo: Swap their smartphone with an identical, but non-functional model. Watch their confusion as they try to turn it on!
Air Horn Chair: Tape an air horn under their chair so when they sit down, they get a loud surprise!
Faux Bug: Place realistic fake bugs in spots they frequent—under the pillow, in their shoes, or on their desk.
Mentos Ice Bomb: Freeze Mentos in ice cubes and offer them a soda. Once the ice melts, get ready for an explosive reaction!
Saran Wrap Doorway: Stretch saran wrap across their bedroom door at chest height. It’s practically invisible, making for a hilarious collision.
Soap That Won’t Lather: Coat their soap bar with clear nail polish and laugh as they struggle to get a lather going.
Colored Water: Add a few drops of food coloring to the faucet head—red is always a shocking surprise!
Auto-Correct Prank: Change their phone’s auto-correct settings so “Yes” turns into “Yasss” or “No” becomes “Nay-nay.”
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Fake Remote: Use a second remote to change the channel or adjust the volume, leaving them wondering what’s going on.
Mouse Surprise: Attach a fake mouse to a string and slowly drag it across the floor when they least expect it.
Funny Cousin Memes
1.”When you and your cousin arrive at the family reunion and instantly realize you’re the only ones keeping it cool.”
2.”That moment when your cousin discovers your secret snack stash and swears to keep it quiet.”
3.”Trying to explain our family tree to Grandma feels like solving a math equation.”
4.”When you’re in your twenties but still stuck at the kids’ table with your cousin.”
“Cousins by blood, troublemakers by choice.”
5.”That one cousin who always turns family dinners into an epic food fight.”
6.”When your cousin knows all your secrets because they’ve been your partner-in-crime since day one.”
7.”The look we share when our parents start comparing our grades… yet again
Funny Cousin Memes.”
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8″When you and your cousin turn the ugly Christmas sweater competition into a full-blown holiday tradition.”
9.”The unspoken cousin code: What happens at the sleepover, stays at the sleepover.”
